What am I doing?

Right now it is 12:04 AM on a Wednesday night. Well, I guess it is technically Thursday. But, that is not the point. As of today I am three weeks into my summer break. In just a couple short months, I will begin my senior year at college. A year from now, I will be a college graduate. So, what else would I be doing at 12:04 AM on a Wednesday night than ask myself the classic question: What am I doing?

That seems to be strangers' favorite question. All students pursuing a career in the arts know what I mean. That part of you that dies a little inside when someone asks you what your major is? Yeah. We've all been there.

"So, what's your major?"

"Theatre."

"Oh...that's fun. So what are you going to do with that?"

You know, I'm sure math majors never get that response. But that's a whole other subject for another day. This is supposed to be an introductory blog. Why did I start a blog again? Oh, yeah. The impending doom of my future looming over me at midnight on a Wednesday.

Let's see, where do I start?

Hi.

I'm Bethany. I'm just finished my Junior year as a Theatre major and writing minor at Southwest Baptist University. Why theatre? Besides the fact that I never grew out of playing pretend, theatre combines every single thing that I love. By pursuing theatre, I get to create in so many different ways. I love stepping into a whole other persona when I take my spot on the stage. I love getting to draw and paint and sew costumes and see how my designs bring a character to life. I love having a vision and guiding people to tell a story through directing. I love that all my years of writing and pretending and creating really unrealistic scenarios in my head have turned into writing for the stage. I love the community that we get to create. I'm as cliche as it gets, but I truly never belonged anywhere like I belong in theatre. I LOVE theatre. And I've loved expanding my understanding of the art through my undergrad education. I have learned more than I ever thought possible.

"So...What are you going to do with that?" They ask. So many things. I respond.

My goal, my biggest dream, is to start an art school in Kansas City. After I finish undergrad, I'll be pursuing a graduate degree in Arts Administration, which will put me on track to achieving that dream. In the meantime, I won't stop acting, I'll take any chance I get to design, and call me Alexander Hamilton 'cause I won't ever stop writing until I run out of time.

Yeah, I have a direction I'd like to go with my career. But, truly, my plan is to pursue creativity in any medium I can. The future is looming and scary and unpredictable, but that's life. I can plan all I want, but the truth is, I'll do what I end up doing. Having a direction to go is good, and I'm not saying you shouldn't have plans. But, honestly NO ONE knows what they're doing. Ever. So, expecting college graduates to have it figured out is a little unrealistic (again, another topic for another day). No one knows what they're doing, so do the thing you feel called to do and don't let anyone stop you (even yourself). That's my philosophy.

What am I doing with this website/blog? Since my field involves so many different things, I wanted to have an online portfolio where I can organize and catalog all the things I've done, the things I'm working on, and the things I hope to accomplish. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the things I want to do, but then I look back on all I've already done and I know that the future isn't as scary as I think it is. I just have to do what I've always done: take things one step at a time, and never be stagnant. Dream. Pursue. Create.